we made out on top of his cat.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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