Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
