is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
