Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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