tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
