Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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