life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I need to sanitize my soul.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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