my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Randomize
