I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
