That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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