Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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