Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
