you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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