Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
