Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
