remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
