never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize