someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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