Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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