you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
