i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
