Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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