it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
