i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
