Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
