Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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