my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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