I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
