is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
