David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
