How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
