now i know why i became what i already was.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
