I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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