You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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