I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
