She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
