Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Im part way to drunk.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
