how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Randomize
