shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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