make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
