YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
