Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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