he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
