my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
