just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize