Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
