I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I fill condoms, not promises.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
