Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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