He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
