i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
