I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
