Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize