I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
