can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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