Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
