i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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