I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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