it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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