"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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