I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
