Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
